I can definitely relate.. Ive been producing for 6 years and until three month ago, I did not have much to run with. I got trash mixes I've kept on here from my first few projects back in 2016 to now, (with much improvement) to look back on. Been fighting a lot of self doubt from all shortcomings in life and adversity from others. For me producing is a way to escape reality sometimes.. Key thing is just consistency, passion, and a goal. Getting Frontpaged here was the hardest thing for me because I wasn't making good stuff and I sucked.
This is the first time in my life I wanted to put everything I got WITHOUT having any self doubts on my stuff cause I know I was always good enough and just kept working. Definitely relatable to you on fighting negative thoughts for a while and seeking value amongst what other people may see your work as. But eventually with personal growth, you will get to that milestone to where you can finally realize what you put out is a reflection of YOURSELF.
Also know as a human being you have the ability to freely create. And you don't have to conform to the box the world may try to fit you in. Don't compress your talent you have here.